When four-year-old Aisha started preschool, mornings became a battleground. She clung to her mother, cried at drop-off, and withdrew during group time. At home, she had sudden outbursts over small changes. This morning, she cried when her mother used a different cup at breakfast. Aisha’s experience is common in the early years, when children face rapid changes in routines, relationships, and expectations. Counselling at this stage creates a safe, playful space where children like Aisha can show us how they feel much earlier, often before they can express it verbally.
Young children often don’t yet have the words to name fear, anger, or sadness. Counsellors read children’s language of play and behaviour to understand their deeper emotional needs. During play, Aisha’s counsellor, Mrs Barnes, sees the tower that keeps “falling,” the puppet who won’t leave home, the child who avoids paint because “it’s messy.” These themes reveal what Aisha is trying to master. Through developmentally attuned approaches, such as using play, counsellors help children process big feelings in ways that feel natural and non-threatening. The goal is simple – we help the child feel safe and understood while building early coping tools that support trust, resilience, and problem-solving for years to come.
Families often seek support for separation anxiety, adjustment to school, emotional outbursts, sleep difficulties, or frequent tummy aches with no medical cause. For Aisha, the triggers appeared during transitions, such as leaving home, moving between activities, and ending play. In the first few sessions, Mrs Barnes observed her preferred play themes and non-verbal cues: tight shoulders during goodbyes, avoidance of shared materials, and a repeated storyline in which a “baby tiger” couldn’t find its mother. These observations guided a clear, compassionate plan.
The counselling space for young kids can be called something fun, like a playroom. The counsellor’s first job is to build safety. For Aisha, that meant familiar routines such as “a hello song”, a feelings check-in using simple emotion cards, and a closing routine where she chose a “strength sticker” to take home. Mrs Barnes used a child-centered play approach to let Aisha lead while reflecting her feelings and choices, strengthening her control.
To address anxiety and get Aisha to be more receptive to changes, Mrs Barnes used specific tools based on what Aisha enjoys working with and materials which are relatable and familiar to her :
Letting Aisha take the lead, Mrs Barnes also made sure the play space reflected psychological, safety, and cultural aspects. Alongside blocks and art, the room included multicultural dolls in kebaya and songket, batik cloth for pretend picnics, and songs in the Indonesian language, which Aisha is very familiar with at home. These materials told Aisha, “Your world belongs here.”
Change accelerates when caregivers feel equipped. Aisha’s mother and father are invited into brief filial coaching sessions where they need to dedicate a weekly 20-minute “special playtime” at home. They practiced emotion coaching (“You’re sad to say goodbye, and you can handle it”) and used the same visual schedule the school adopted. Mrs Barnes and her parents co-designed two micro-routines that made a big difference: a consistent morning goodbye (hug, phrase, wave at the door) and a calm-down plan (breathing game, three squeezes, choose a classroom job). At bedtime, the family introduced a simple picture book that talks about anxiety and a worry box where Aisha could “park” her concerns for the night, as they needed her to learn to sleep independently. All the activities are done both in English and in Indonesian, which her parents are familiar with
Her parents also received simple handouts with examples of co-regulation (kneeling to the child’s eye level, naming feelings, offering a warm touch with permission) and positive behaviour supports (clear expectations, small choices, praise for effort). These materials helped them to practice at home with their little girl.
Her parents also agreed on consistent language across settings. When Aisha hesitated, adults said, “You can feel worried and be brave,” and then led an activity they do together (“Let’s walk to the mat together”). This is done in English and Indonesian, which Aisha is familiar with.
By week four, Aisha began using her breathing game without prompting and volunteered to hand out markers during circle time. At home, she used words like “worried” and “ready,” and her outbursts decreased as the family leaned on special playtimes and predictable routines. The “baby tiger” in the sand tray still missed its mother. Now it explored the forest and found friends who helped it feel brave.
Mrs Barnes’ role as an Early Years counsellor is not about “fixing” a child. It’s about creating a safe, playful space where feelings can be seen, named, and managed with support. Children like Aisha grow when adults work as one team. With the right tools, clear structure, pace, and room to play, small voices learn to carry big feelings with confidence. That’s the quiet power of child-centered counselling. It nurtures resilience, strengthens relationships, and helps children step into school feeling safe, capable, and ready to connect.
Support children like Aisha by learning how to help them thrive! Explore a free online Diploma in Child and Youth Counselling to gain practical skills in play-based, child-centered approaches. Build resilience, confidence, and emotional well-being in young children. Enroll today and start making a positive impact!
Written by: Alex Liau
Published on 31 October 2025
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