Jayden is a soft-spoken Primary Three student who loves science facts and drawing superheroes. This year, group work became stressful as a classmate started teasing him about his handwriting, and break times turned into a maze of shifting friendships. At home, Jayden grew irritable and avoided homework. His parents reached out for counselling to help him handle peer issues, school stress, and the swirl of bigger feelings that come with growing up. Why does he need counselling at this age? Also, why do these years matter?
Children around the ages of 8 to 12 are more aware of their emotions and learn the social rules of friendship and teamwork. They juggle more challenging academics, new expectations, and more complex emotions. Many children seek support for bullying, friendship conflicts, low confidence, perfectionism, or learning differences. Counselling provides a structured, supportive space to practice skills, process feelings, and build a sturdy sense of belonging, both in school and at home.
Counselling Jayden
Miss Tan, an experienced Primary School counsellor, is assigned to see Jayden for his issue. She set up predictable rituals for Jayden, which include a short check-in using a “feelings thermometer,” a choice of warm-up activities, and a clear plan for what we would practice. Miss Tan has over 10 years of experience in counselling, and she knows that predictable rituals are essential before a child can share his emotions. During their sessions, Jayden gravitated to role-play and comic-making, so Ms Tan used those to explore tricky moments. She looked for themes during their talking sessions, and she noticed that Jayden has a few issues, which include “fear of being embarrassed”, “dislike of noisy groups”, and “wishes to be taken seriously. As an experienced counsellor, she knew that Jayden’s issues could be easily translated into practical goals such as “Ask for help when stuck,” “Use one calm-down strategy,” and “Speak up once during group work.”
Jayden uses specific tools he could use in class and on the playground:
- Assertive communication scripts: “Please stop. I don’t like that,” followed by an explicit request. They rehearsed with puppets and then in short skits.
- Stop–Breathe–Plan: a three-step self-regulation routine using a pocket card.
- Comic-strip problem-solving where Jayden drew a three-panel story which consists of “problem, choice, outcome.” He used it to rehearse responses before they happened.
- Restorative language: “When you say my writing is messy, I feel upset. Can we find a way to work together?”
- Strength spotting: noticing personal strengths (“patient,” “careful,” “creative”) and linking them to actions in class.
Ms Tan also collaborates with the teachers, ensuring skills transfer to real settings. With Jayden’s class teacher, we agreed on a simple support plan:
- A quiet corner which consists of a cushion, an emotion poster, and a two-minute sand timer for short brain breaks.
- Group norms: clear rules for kind talk and a cue the teacher could use—“Pause and re-phrase”—when comments slipped.
- The buddy system involves pairing Jayden with a supportive peer during projects who understands his handwriting needs.
Ms Tan held two check-ins with Jayden and the teachers over six weeks to review observations, adjust strategies, and celebrate wins. She measured growth with short behaviour ratings from home and school, a weekly self-report from Jayden (“How brave did I feel today?” 1–5), and session notes on skill use. After four weeks, Jayden feels more at ease and participation in group tasks increased. By week six, Jayden used “Stop–Breathe–Plan” without prompts and advocated for himself during a project—“I’d like to write captions because I’m careful with details.” Teasing decreased as peers saw him contribute confidently and as the teacher reinforced respectful language.
Primary school is a space for children to learn courage and connection. With consistent adult support and the establishment of respectful limits, children learn to speak up, calm down, and join in. Jayden still loves drawing superheroes; now he sees some of those strengths in himself. He is now more careful, creative, and brave with friends. That is the promise of developmentally attuned counselling. It has turned everyday moments into lessons in resilience and belonging, preparing children to step into adolescence with steadier hearts and hopeful minds.
Discover practical strategies to support children like Jayden through our free online course on primary school counselling. Learn how to help children navigate friendship challenges, manage school stress, and build confidence using structured tools such as role-play, self-regulation techniques, and strengths-spotting exercises. Whether you are a parent, teacher, or caregiver, this course provides actionable methods to foster resilience, emotional awareness, and a sense of belonging in children.
Written by: Alex Liau
Published on 21 November 2025
